Future

What do you do if you don't have dreams? No vision, goals, or
direction? Is that where I am? Sometimes it seems that way.

I need something to strive for, something that at very least seems
attainable. Hopefully I can find it.

Super Guy
(on the move)

Probationary extension

So my "supervisor" called me in today an said she was extending my
probationary time. However my other "supervisor" wasn't even part of
this situation. It is a bit of a joke when the person reviewing you
doesn't have a clue what you do.

Weird botherment

Super Guy
(on the move)

Homeward Bound

I figures I had been given the run around enough foe the day so I left
work "early". Hopefully I can do something about the car when I get
back down to Lehi. We will see.

Super Guy
(on the move)

It's Aliiiiive!!!

At least it got me to the bus stop anyway. I was going to leave my key
in the Intrepid this morning and call to get it towed, but I decided
to try and start it and it started up. It didn't sound or feel all
that healthy, but it is now a lot closer to places that can help fix
it. I just have to decide for certain where I am going to take it to.

Super Guy
(on the move)

Deus ex machina

Fantasy. Life has consequences and rough patches galore. Superman
doesn't swoop in at the last second to save the day, nor do things
like the economic stimulus package avert the disasters we see.

We love to hear the stories all the same be they fictitious or the
rare reality of the unexpected resolution. One of my favorite
versions of the this type of resolution is that found in "The Pirates
of Penzance" where a simple charge in the name of the queen and
another fantastical revelation cure all the ills of the entire story.

If life were a Gilbert and Sullivan I would just have to rough it out
until the finale, and it would be here sooner than later. Don forget
either that we would get some good music in the meantime. I don't have
the luxury of a script or a screenplay but sometimes I would mind a
bit of a synopsis or an outline.

Oh well, and whatever.

Super Guy
(on the move)

Something better

Do you ever get the feeling that there has got to be something better.
That is what I feel I'm relation to my job. I have been out for a
couple of sick days helping take care of Jane and Gwen, but I know as
soon as other people get to work today it will start it's downward
march which has been the norm for over a month now.

A year ago when this whole episode of my life started I thought I was
going somewhere with all of this, but now I look back and forward and
wonder if this isn't the biggest dead end I could have ever gone down.

Some days it feels like the past 5+ years mean nothing and I am just
hanging out hoping beyond all hope for some deus ex machina to rewrite
some pages of this horrible nightmare world I have found. There aren't
many of these "machinas" in the real world though and I am not holding
out for any.

If I could build one that would be another story, but I don't even
have an inkling of where to begin. I have a degree in mathematics
doesn't that mean something to someone? I wish I knew who that
someone was. I have some advanced computers skills and a great variety
of knowledge. I wish I could find the market for me.

I can imagine that somewhere there exists a job that would fit me just
right, but I need more than imaginary jobs. At the very leaat I need
a direction to be headed because I am stagnant or in retrograde.

Blathering Blatherskite

Super Guy
(on the move)

Uta owes me breakfast

And lunch for that matter. I don't know why I bother with trying to
use the earlier express bus this is now 2 out of three days that it
has been problematic. It was fifteen minutes late. I could have eaten
breakfast and got lunch ready with that time.

Sometimes the tardiness of buses can be helpful, but other times it is
ridiculous fifteen minutes on a beautiful morning for an "express" bus
is silly.

On another note ... never mind

Super Guy
(on the move)

Talking Down

So I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday about my problems at work. I
found that in my treatment by others an unusual paradox.

As a teenager I often was treated and felt older than I was, let's say
like an adult. Now that I am an adult there is a strange reversal that
I am being treated like I am a kid.

In a dictatorship what matters to the dictator is what matters to his/
her cohorts and valuable though education and experience might be it
doesn't have the same worth to different people.

I think the lack of appreciation and the superiority complexes are
some of the most bizarre things. More people need to cede to others
with more knowledge and experience when they are not experienced in
the field. Because you are expert on a topic does not mean that you
know everything, in fact it can simply means that you are intertwined
with that topic that you can't see the outside.

Just because you have been involved in something for a long time and
have tons of experience doesn't mean that you know the best way to do
things. Another person with less experience but fresh ideas can come
in and help you improve, if you let them.

One quality of good management is realizing that you don't know
everything and don't need to. Team built with people from different
background can cover more ground because people can play to their
stregths.

I am being paid for a job I am well qualified for while being
regulated to doing a job I am overqualified for. I guess I should be
happy at the fact that I am being paid more than what value I would
give the work, but I think I would rather have a job where I at least
feel respected.

It is sad to be treated as if you are inferior, not that I want to be
superior, just relatively equal, and maybe respected a little.

Super Guy
(on the move)

Earlier

I found out earlier this week that there is an earlier bus that I can
use and get to work earlier. It is an express bus and I don't have to
get up as early as another earlier bus would require. This may be an
advantageous strategy as I quietly explore the options of a four day
work week. I say quietly because I do not have anything remotely like
permission to move to 4 days, mostly I want to know how possible it
might be.

Well we will see what today brings always something new and rarely
anything worth the trouble. I will get in some extra time though
worth a few bucks.

Super Guy
(on the move)

Some experiences...

That aren't as bad.

Went to Costco last night and bought a bunch of stuff. It is nice to
have some money right now with our tax refund to do some extra
spending. I also got a replacement battery for the dead car and
hopefully it will be running well when I get it in later this week.

I have done running for my wii fit the last couple of nights and my
legs were dying last night. It felt good to feel the work out some
more.

I have a program ok my iPod that has the scriptures on of and I
finally downloaded the update and it is awesome, it has footnotes and
even the topical guide and bible dictionary.

I might be able to get in some overtime depending on how long Jane
decided to visit with my family we will see. Yesterday I actually got
something done so that was quite nice. I guess that will be it for now.

Super Guy
(on the move)

Some experiences...

I could do without.

So I started my car scraped the windows and grabbed the handle to get
in and head off for the day when lo and behold the door makes a lovely
noise saying "ha ha ha" I locked you out. Evil possesed car. Sorry for
waking you up mom,but thanks for getting me the dispatch number.
Luckily I was going early today to hit a meeting and after everything
I still made it on my normal bus. I'll miss the first part of the
meeting, but ask me if I care. The answer is no by the way.

So apparently my laptop isn't happy with me right now. Yesterday it
turned off while I was using it, I figured the battery had given up
for the day, but this morning I noticed as I tried to use it that it
was shut down not just asleep. After a couple of minutes it gave up on
me again today so the battery might be shot completely now. I will see
when I get a chance to plug it in.

Super Guy
(on the move)

Truth

Where is truth to be found? It seems more often than not lately that
to find truth would be a hard endeavor for anyone to pursue. For
example take the "obvious" reality of global warming. We often, aimed
at always, here about global warming as if it is set in stone. The
question is, is that true and how can we really know?

There are still people on the other side of the issue and to hear
about that fact relies on people not accepting everything that the tv
tells them and presents as the final word.

Bias and prejudice along with pride and conformity can kill logical
conversation and thoughtful consideration. Scientists do the best they
can with what tools and knowledge they have, but media presentation of
that information often treats us to a view that doesn't show the
shortcomings of investigation.

No science is absolute and the misconceptions that this is a "law" are
problematic since after some time in effect they may no longer be
questioned and tested if another idea is presented.

Sometimes we need to remember that questioning something is the way
we have gotten as far as we have and to subject everyone to our views
would hamper that driving force.

Super Guy
(on the move)

Not on a bus

We're still in Cedar, and I am waiting for my mom while she is in a
doctor's visit. I have Internet access so I figured I would just wait
so I can give her a ride home. It has been a pretty good weekend, but
it will be "good" to go home. I struggle to function outside of my
regular routines. Really struggle

Hagoda everybody

Super Guy
(on the move)

Day off

Took the day off today for a four day weekend. Have a good one.

Gay "marriage" discrimination?

No person can argue that prop 8 or similar legislation is
discrimination. To be discrimination you have to be treating one
person or group differently that another person or group. This is
simply not the case with the gay "marriage" issue.

It might be argued something like "you can get married and I can't, so
that is discrimination", but that couldn't b further from the truth.
Let's assume this person is a man "You can get married, just not to
another man, but I am in that exact same circumstance, I cannot marry
another man either". The law acts equally on all people, regardless of
their desires.

As a simple correlation let's take illegal drugs I would never be
remotely interested in using them just as I would never be remotely
interested in marrying a guy. On the other side I am free to purchase
and use aspirin. Someone else would like to use illegal drugs, instead
of aspirin, does that mean that laws against these drugs are
discriminatory against this person. The laws act the same on both
people and no claim for discrimination can be made.

There may be other valid starting points for the gay "marriage"
movement, but claiming discrimination is totally missing the mark.

Super Guy
(on the move)

...

Can't say much is going on... It has been a rather typical week... Going to Cedar this weekend. At least that is the plan. ...Such is... life I guess. Jane made some fun levels on Little Big Planet... I am at nearly 40 days of using Wii fit... Don't know that it is making much of a difference... stuff... and things...

"Birthday" Presents

I use the quotations because of the direction the presents went. Yesterday after I got off the bus I made an extra trip down to Orem to retrieve my iPod from the UTA lost and found. (I have a pair of pants whose pockets aren't the greatest at keeping things in)

While in Orem I decided to get some See's chocalates to surprise Jane and also decided to look at Deseret Book for the illustrated stories from the Book of Mormon (church distribution) for Gwen. I got the chocolates and went out through Deseret Book they didn't have much selection of church distribution stuff so that was a dead end, but they had some good bargain books in the main aisle and lets just say Jane and Gwen got books last night. On my way home I did stop to get a Krispy Kreme donut so I got something out of the bargain as well.

Last night Jane and I stayed up late. She was stuck inside of a game around 8 and I didn't really have anything to do so I took over reading "Ella Enchanted" since she had started it lately. We were up late reading because I was a little annoyed by the ups and downs and wanted to get to a good ending instead of leaving off unresolved. It is a fun story, but some of the occurrences in the process were making me annoyed.

Heigh ho, heigh ho... off to work I go

Monday is overish

And thankfully too.

Though it wasn't a bad day it is always nice to go home. I am really on a trip of wanting to spend money, maybe it was the lack of birthdayness this year. Saturday was less than peachy, and all that is going on otherwise has worn me down lately as well. Not much to say right now I don't think, but catch you later.

Sick Day

So I didn't have a very good night last night and I decided to take a sick day today. I have be getting run through the ringer lately. It looks like the car problem is the battery after all, but to go get it checked I have to try and get it out of the car. Car design=stupid I'll need a ratchet if I have any hope at all. We will see.

Dead Car

So apparently the Intrepid doesn't want to start this week. It gets to the point where it will almost turn over then goes back to the grating "I usually only do this a couple of seconds" noise. It doesn't seem to be the battery, because we tried to jump it, it shouldn't be out of gas because I filled it up last week. So I really don't know what it is. It will make for some fun arrangements when Jane needs the car, but I should be able to work out some rides with people in the ward just fine. Otherwise life is going quite well. Not really anything else to say for now so Hagomo.

Complicated

We often don't realize how complicated the world is that "revolves around us". The daily grind is a continuos blind. When we are so embroiled in our own world we don't notice what is on the outside and if we choose our outside points of reference incorrectly then we will be in for a harsh wake up call. I honestly don't know where the good contacts for information are, but I have been reading editorials by two economists that I would tend to believe more than what has been termed "the media" or the "mainstream media". It is much easier to believe and trust one or two people than a "crowd" or "mob". Though trust itself can come into question in our lives.

If the government keeps getting bigger and keeps taking over control then what happens? Many people to one degree or another don't understand that with freedom comes responsibility for your actions, and with responsibility for your actions comes a responsibility for the consequences. Accountability headed to disaster in "bailouts". When we make a choice there is a consequence people want to avoid consequences I think that is a spoiled mentality and I would attribute it to the "natural man".

Just a few examples of what I mean.

Abortion for the various reasons could be trying to avoid the consequence of an choice
I have heard radio ads for a hangover cure, lets avoid the consequence of drinking alchohol
Radio ads about a drug that can get rid of fat, (no need to exercise is implied) avoid the consequences of not taking care of your body anyone?
Bailout money, gimme gimme gimme, avoiding the consequences of bad economic decisions

Actually I might be able to come up with a full blown analogy, but I will simply refer you to the parable of the 10 virgins. Each virgin made her own choices, 5 wise, 5 foolish. There were consequences and when facing those consequences there were no bailouts.

Consequences follow all actions and maybe if we had to face those we could learn and progress, that won't happen in businesses and governments if the rest of us are tapped to cover other peoples mistakes and follies.

Cool Article

This article really goes with the statement "Enlightened trial and error succeeds over the lone genius". I thought it was neat.

Free Grand Slam

So I did get to Denny's today for a free grand slam breakfast. (6am-2pm today)

I went right at 6 this morning it was tasty and free. I sat with a sister from the church since she was a party of one as well. It did take a long time though since we got lost in the corner and while waiting other people after us were served well ahead of us. She had a fascinating life story and it was fun to listen. I am now on a bus, not a preferred one, but a suitable one non the less, and had a good experience overall even though it took nearly an hour of my day.

Recently someone I work with brought up the topic of "What is your time worth" with me and I have been weighing the free breakfast against the money I could have made by being at work already, but I don't think it is an accurately reflection of reality. Time is worth more than money because money is not lasting. I had the opportunity today to become acquainted with a good person and hear a testimony of the truth. Most likely I won't even see that sister again and we didn't form a lasting acquaintance I can look at this and know that my day was lit by someone outside my regular routine, and she had the opportunity to not have to have breakfast by herself. I also realize looking back right now that the passing acquaintance in this life can potentially become a more lasting experience in out future state. It will be amazing to have friendships and conversation with people outside our temporal social spheres.

Hagoda everyone

Back we go

The one comfort I can find is that my "job" is relatively mindless now, so I can just go type in information. I am looking back towards starting to do some programming again as a way that I might make something out of my life even as it is now up in the air. I don't think the north is all that wonderful for us, and I would much rather return to the smaller town life. We have awhile to go, but if I can develop some sort of skill that will get us in a better position then that would be great.

Hagoda everyone