I find myself wondering more and more lately what makes a blog a good blog versus what makes a blog like mine... I have two sisters-in-law that write fun and interesting blog entries that I find myself reading as soon as I catch them on my feed reader and they seem to be so fun and enjoyable to read and then I think "I wish I could write like that", but of course if you have read through this blog you might find feeling is not terribly present...
Although I am not the greatest writer in the world I think I might have difficulty letting go of the fact that one of the best ways to write is through disassociation taking myself out of the world and really just writing for myself. I think I have wanted some feeling that this means something to someone else rather that worrying about what it means to me... Maybe I will give that a try really being me and not worrying through the choice of every word analyzing and reanalyzing everything I say until I think I have the responses figured out. I often take much more time thinking of what to say than the time I take to actually come out and say it, maybe that is a trait I have to face down to uncover the real me and see if he is someone worth getting to know.
Some people have some idea of who I am, but sometimes I wonder if I haven't locked myself down so much that I am not even sure of who I am. To much calculation in socializing has created a separate surreal world that I am just trying to make sense of and bring back to reality. I have created multiple layers of socializing and sometimes create new character profiles and traits for every person I interact with, going from one person to another sometimes seems like an all out switch of who I am and not really understanding where the acting ends and the real me begins creates a mess of my head when I start trying to think it out.
The mess is evidenced by this post...
Good Luck understanding any of this
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Mostly posted from my iPod touch sorry about spelling and formatting traumas.
3 comments:
I understand the writing part that is why I don't write much. Love ya
First of all, I don't think you're alone in being the same way around different people. I think we all have different suits we put on when we're in different situations and around different people. I know I do.
And while you may think you put up a barrier, and maybe you do, you do let it down occasionally. I've seen it, and you are a really great person to be around when you let it down. It's just a hard habit to start, right?
As for writing, I tend to be a very passive person in public. I'll say yes to something when I really don't want to, just to please someone else. My writing allows me to be assertive and unafraid. You know that part in You've Got Mail, when Meg Ryan finally zings Tom Hanks? There are times I wish I could do that!
You are a person worth knowing. I read a book recently called The Last Lecture. It was very inspiring. Randy, the author, writes about how his dad told him people put up walls not to keep people in, but to show how bad someone wants what is behind the wall, and what they'll do to get it. It just makes it a little easier on the rest of us when you help us scale the wall. :)
Well, my friend, Mellissa has said some good things. I also read The Last Lecture and found it to be one of the more meaningful books I've ever read.
Give me a call if you ever see this comment. I've got something to share with you in private, that only carrys weight when discussed person to person. See you 'round.
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